Skip to main content

Golden years? Yeah right!

If you are in your mid thirties then you would possibly be at a stage where you see your family elders growing old. Parents. Grandparents. Ailments. Debilitating at the worst. Scary at the least. Heart wrenching in most cases. You would probably feel it more because this is the time when many of us move out of the more selfish and self obsessed twenties to the domesticated thirties.

There is nothing as painful as to see those who have brought you up, protected you, helped you stand, picked you up, nurtured you, beginning to tremble themselves. Nothing as deadly as to listen to the feeling of doubt in their voices. To detect the hidden fear and anxiety when they talk. To imagine their unsteady steps. To hear about their obstacle ridden lives.

Health ailments are so frustrating. You can't do anything against nature. There are things that even money can't fix. And we are not talking of common colds, the odd bloated feeling or a little pimple here and there. Failing vision, weakening hearts, knees that give away, lungs that refuse to breathe, minds that refuse to remember, hands that refuse to stay still, bodies which refuse to get up ... you just sit and watch. Helpless.

It's even worse if you live in another city. A reality in today's migratory world.

And the amazing thing is that when you call them up, they put their aches and pains behind and enquire about your well being and your life. You always come first to them.

We have some standards to live up to.

Here's to everyone who has a grandparent, parent, family elder suffering. Here's hoping that they get better. That they feel strong. That they sleep well.

Comments

k said…
love them while you can
Unknown said…
So true...love them while you can. There will be a day when they are just memories in your heart. The best advice someone gave me many years ago was to spend as much time as I can with my parents (I lived in Mumbai and they were in Chandigarh, so I met them twice a year). Life goes on and one learns to live with the memories...
wanderer said…
A twenty an more, it saddens my when the once graceful lady talks of wishing to die soon-a way to assert how frustrated she feels.

A twenty of more, I shudder at the thought that my fathers' health complications are on the rise, and all I an left to do is to console myself as a mute spectator, for I can never overpower the laws of nature...
But for love, the pain can be eased out, to say I care through hug and to drop a smile each time they look at you...can make their closing years a life worthy living...even if you are far away..a call can create wonders just remember to let your smile keep ringing in your voice as long as you talk to them.

regards,
wanderer
Kalyan Karmakar said…
Can't think of wiser words. 'spend more time when you can' 'love them while you can', 'keep the smile ringing when you can'
wanderer said…
Indeed...they care for us aloud and we care for them silently..in our prayers....in our actions.

Popular posts from this blog

The importance of being 'Nyaka'

'Nyaka' is a Bengali term which beats translation. It could mean coy, coquettish, scheming, la di da. There is no one word which captures it. The term is used in a pejorative context and has a sarcastic tone to it. Used a bit more for women than for men. Has a feminine context when used for men. I posed the challenge of translating 'nyaka' into English to fellow Bengalis in Facebook. Here's a sample of the answers that I got. I have removed the names and kept the statuese as is, hope it's not too difficult to read Bong man 1 Coy.....but that does capture the essence 14 December at 14:37 · Me No ...not entirely. A colleague just suggested precocious. Maybe its too intrinsic a Bong trait to be translated :) 14 December at 14:50 · Bong woman 1 kol-lan, difficult to get a english / hindi word for nyaka. 14 December at 15:11 · me that's the point 14 December at 15:15 · Bong woman 2 oh, i think the essence of the word 'nyaka' will be lost in translation.

3 Idiots over 3 D anyday

I slept through most of Avatar a few days back. I was sleep deprived. I had a heavy lunch before watching the film. But to be honest the story didn't engross me. I watched 3 Idiots this afternoon. I slept late last night. Didn't have my post breakfast Sunday nap. The show coincided with my Sunday afternoon ghoom or siesta... sacrosanct to the Bong Bhodrolok . I did not sleep in the movie. Yes, it took off from where Tare Zameen Par left. And the second half was Munna Bhai 3. K feels it had every cliche possible and that it is no Dead Poet's Society or even DevD . But I liked it. It was not new yet refreshing. There were cliches but it also made fun of cliches (the art house treatment of the Rastogi family poverty for example). The film oozed melodrama specially post the samosa break. Yet you could feel that the script writer hadn't left the building. The message of 'excel in what you are passionate about and success will follow' is something some of us tal

Where will you be twenty years from now?

A taste of Mumbai It struck me the other day that it has been about twenty years since the time I took my first steps, albeit unwittingly, towards moving into Mumbai. I had been recruited by a market research agency in Kolkata from campus back then. I joined my new office once the MBA course was over. We were then sent to Mumbai for a training programme in August 1997. Once the course was over, my colleagues from Kolkata returned home. I was slated to stay back for a 2 month training programme in Mumbai which then stretched on for close to 6 months. I was put up at a PG in Bandra by my office then. Such  a long journey This was the first time that I was living away from home. All I wanted to do then was to get back to Kolkata as soon as I could. Go back and build a successful career in market research hopefully. Move to an apartment in a posher part of Kolkata than where we lived. At Ballygunge for example.  I thought it would be cool one day have a club membershi